The Almost Foolproof Plan
by acalboi
Summary: Mercedes agrees to help Kurt win the heart of a certain cute Asian boy, while Matt agrees to help Mike win the love and affection of McKinleys resident diva.  Summary sucks, the story is better.
1. Chapter 1

Hi all! This is my first ever attempt at writing a fanfic. I chose Glee with Mike Chang and Kurt Hummel because it's one of my favorite pairings, and there aren't nearly enough!

I am also a huge fan of Drarry and Harry/Blaise. Also, Purt (Puck/Kurt).

All reviews are welcome, constructive criticism is requested, how else will I know how to get better? Haha

The main couplings are

Mike Chang & Kurt Hummel

Mercedes Jones & Matt Rutherford

with possible

Finn & Rachel

Brittany & Santana

Artie & Tina

Puck & !surprise

Disclaimer: I obviously am not Ryan Murphy. Therefore, I do not own Glee, if I did, I wouldn't be writing bad fanfiction! However, Mr. Murphy, if you're out there reading this, feel free to contact me, I have TONS of ideas.

* * *

Kurt paced around his impeccably designed room as Mercedes sat on his sofa, staring at him with a worried expression tinting her face. "This can **NOT** be happening 'Cedes" exhaled Kurt.

"It is happening Kurt, I tried to warn you about liking straight guys, but, no White Boy, **_you_** just didn't listen" Mercedes replied.

"You're absolutely right Mercedes! Because I just **_love_** the idea of unrequited love with a straight guy. I mean, I just got over Finn so this is OBVIOUSLY exactly what I need! As loathe as am I to admit it, I think we need Berry in on this." while standing up and reaching for his cell phone to see if he had the annoying self appointed New Directions Capitan's phone number.

"White boy, have you lost your mind? You can't seriously think adding in Rachel friggen Berry is gonna help anything!" Mercedes exclaimed as she herself started pacing.

"Well, do _**YOU**_ have any better ideas?" Kurt snapped in return, throwing his phone onto his bed.

"Maybe we should talk to Matt. I think he may be our best bet."

Kurt looked like he just got an exclusive invitation to meet Marc Jacobs in his private suite during Fashion Week.

"Cedes! You're a genius! I owe you a weekend shopping spree! I knew you were my girl for a reason!" After thinking for a bit though, "Uhm, Mercedes? How do we get Matt to talk?"

"I don't know. Tell him you need help with a dance or something"

"That might work Cedes. But, now, it's getting late, and I need to start my nighttime moisturizing regiment"

At this Mercedes chuckles a bit "I'll see you tomorrow morning Kurt." and sees herself out, making sure not to disturb Mr. Hummel sitting in the living room watching Deadliest Catch reruns.

MiKurtMiKurtMiKurt

At the same time, a couple of blocks away, one Mike Chang was sitting on his bed as his best friend was perfecting a new dance he wanted to show a certain special lady that he was trying to woo. Mike was supposed to be critiquing Matt, at this thought, he did pay attention for a few seconds, to come to the conclusion that it was a great dance, but, he wasn't exactly sure if _she _would like it. After all, he didn't know Mercedes Jones. He wasn't even sure that dancing for her was a way to get her attention. He couldn't bring himself to tell Matt this though.

Matt may be silent most of the time, but, that did not mean that he wasn't stubborn when he wanted to be.

'Man, Matt sure has an easier crush than I do. I mean. Kurt Hummel? Something must be wrong with me! I mean, never mind the way he sashays around in his way too expensive designer clothes, like he owns the town (which, he probably could one day), or the way he blushes whenever he used to see that oaf Finn before Faggy-gate. Or the way he glances at me and turns away quickly whenever I notice. I hope that's a good thing, I really do...'

"Mike man, you there? You got that look on your face again. You're thinking about someone aren't you?" Matt Rutherford quipped.

"Nah man, I was just admiring your mad dance skills" Mike hastily replied.

"I know that look man, who is she?"

Silence as Mike looks down to his hands clasped together in his lap.

"Come on man, I wont tease you, even if it is that Berry chick... Is it Brittany? Not Tina, that's too cliché... Santana would eat you alive... Besides, now that I think about it, I think she might actually love Brittany. I know it's not Quinn... You know I like Mercedes, so you wouldn't go after her... I assume she's in Glee because you don't do much socializing, if any, outside of Glee..."

As Matt was going through this list out loud, Mike was getting increasingly more nervous, wondering when his best friend would realize that, the object of his desire, his affections, was not of the fairer sex (although, he happened to think that Kurt was fairest of them all), but was indeed a guy. Not any guy, Kurt Hummel. Someone like Puck would say that Kurt is gay enough to qualify as a girl, so it wouldn't matter. But, Mike was all too aware that Kurt was indeed all male... Those sleek dancers muscles hidden under the designer clothes that he had glimpsed in the locker room. The... definitely male appendage between his legs. Yes, Kurt Hummel was definitely a guy...

"...Hummel."

Immediately Mike was brought back to the present.

"I'm sorry, what did you say Matt?" Mike croaked out, his throat suddenly dry.

"I said 'Unless it's not a girl, in which case, the only plausible guy could be Hummel' because, lets face it, any other guy in this town and you would be massacred for even thinking of them in 'that way'"

At this, Mike has nothing to say. No reply. Just more silence. He feels the bed dipping as Matt sits next to him and slides an arm around his back.

"It's okay Mike, you're still my best friend, even if you do want to date Kurt. He's a pretty cool dude. You couldn't have picked a better guy to have a crush on... Well, besides yours truly. Haha" Matt tried to lighten the mood.

"Hah", Mike replied, "Thanks for trying and for supporting me." A small smile gracing his face before fading away, to be replaced by a frown.

"Cheer up! Maybe this is a good thing. I've seen him staring at you a few times, he might like you too. You never know." Matt said, a plan formulating in his mind already.

"How are we supposed to find out, I can't exactly walk up to him and say 'Hi Kurt, you're the guy of my dreams, be mine for ever and always' That shit only works in fairy tales" Mike spat out.

"Obviously, you ask Mercedes how to woo him. She would do anything for Kurt, and, she seems like she would be the best bet to help you." Matt replied, almost conspiratorially.

"You're only saying that so you would have a reason to talk to her Matt" Mike teased.

"So, a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do" Matt mused.

* * *

Thanks for reading guys! Remember to leave a review!

Acalboi


	2. Chapter 2 Beta'd this time

Hi all! Thanks for the five reviews and numerous author and story alerts/favorites!

I finally let my sister read this, and, she loved it, in fact, she called me Tuesday night and was all like "All I can think about is your story! It's so good. When I saw Mike and Matt singing with Puck I was like OMG THEY CAN TOTALLY BE BOYFRIENDS, THEY WOULD BE SO CUTE TOGETHER"

Haha.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Glee. If I did, this would be an actual storyline for the show.

* * *

Chapter Two

The next day found Kurt pulling into the school parking lot in his Baby. He grabs a pair of sun glasses before getting out of his Navigator and setting the alarm, looking out for Azimio, Karofsky, or any of the other jocks. After accessing the parking lot and not seeing them near the entrance, he starts his daily strut towards the school entrance.

"Hey Kurt, wait up!" he heard from somewhere behind him, his body automatically tensing at the sound of a voice he wasn't too familiar with.

"What's up man?" Matt asked as he caught up to Kurt and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, making particularly sure not to put enough pressure on to wrinkle Kurt's blazer.

"Oh, hey Matt, didn't recognize your voice, didn't even know you could talk haha" Kurt replied, feeling better knowing that he wasn't about to be thrown into the dumpster.

"Haha, shh, it's one of my closest guarded secrets!" Matt joked, feeling this would be easier than he thought.

"Hey Kurt, I was wondering if maybe you could tutor me in Spanish? I know football season is over, but, I need to keep my GPA up if I ever hope to get a scholarship to get out of this hell hole known as Lima, Ohio." Matt asked, timid all of a sudden.

"Sure, this works out perfectly! I was gonna ask you to help me choreograph a dance actually." Kurt replied, feeling as if this was going way too good to be true.

"Hah, sure. Do you have a song in mind?" Matt asked.

"No, what's Mike's favorite song?" Kurt asked, not exactly sure where that case of verbal diarrhea came from, feeling suddenly awkward.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Matt asked, suddenly more interested as they reached Kurt's locker.

"Oh nothing, I don't know why I asked that. Silly me. But, I was thinking a contemporary dance to Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, it's one of my feel good songs, and I heard that Schue was going to give an assignment for us to perform a song starting with the letter B today, not sure why though..." Kurt explained.

"Meh, who knows why Schuester assigns the things he does, but, I will help you, in return for Spanish tutoring" Matt grinned.

"Why Mr. Rutherford, I believe we have a deal. My place after Glee, you can follow me, or ride with me." Kurt said.

"I'll have to ride with you, my car is in your dad's shop, so I got a ride with Mike" Matt said offhandedly.

At the sound of Mike's name, Kurt's heart rate sped up slightly as be blushed. Kurt immediately stuck his head in his locker as if he were looking for something, hoping that Matt hadn't noticed. Alas, Matt HAD indeed noticed, and was silently cheering.

After waiting for Kurt, Mercedes decided to find Mike and talk to him herself for Kurt. As soon as she noticed him by his locker, she shimmied up next to him, effectively making him jump when she tapped on his shoulder. As Mike turns around and sees her he automatically relaxes and smiles at her, glad that he was about to receive a slushie facial.

"Hey there Mercedes, what's up?" Mike asked.

"I'm gonna cut to the chase, we need to talk." Mercedes said in a serious tone.

"About what? Have I done something? Is it about Glee? I'm sorry, I'll try to sing louder!" Mike replied quite hastily, afraid to be on the receiving end of a Mercedes Jones tirade.

"Shut up boy, no. I just need to know how you feel about my boy Kurt." The corner of her lips turning slight upward at the mention of Kurt's name and Mike's face when he heard his name.

"K-Kurt-t-t , Uhm, he's a cool guy. He's super talented, I wish Schue would give him more solos, everyone except Berry and Schue knows that he threw Defying Gravity. He dresses kinda weird sometimes, but I love it, it makes him interesting, and, uniquely Kurt." Mike replied, blushing deeper with each word, suddenly finding the tile to be just the most lovely design ever.

"Dang, I wasn't expecting all of that. It sounds as if you've really been studying him. Almost as if you..." Mercedes left the statement open to watch for Mike's physical response.

Mike tensed up as he realized that she knew. She knew he liked KURT! Why else would she suddenly talk to him out of the blue? Luckily, he was saved from making up an excuse by the arrival of Puck.

"Sup, Aretha, I need to talk to you... Alone." Puck added, looking at Mike with a pointed expression.

"Whatever man, see you two later in Glee" Mike replied, leaving Puck, and a not too happy looking Mercedes standing by his locker.

"What do you want Puck, I was in the middle of an important conversation." Mercedes snapped at the mohawked jock.

"I want you" Puck replied casually.

"Excuse me, do you really think I would be caught with you? Who knows how many STD's you may have!" Mercedes spat out.

"Aww Aretha, that really hurt. Low blow. Everyone knows I always use protection" Puck defended.

"Quinn." Mercedes deadpanned.

"Well... I'm picking you up Friday night for a date, whether you like it or not." Puck responded, a firm conviction in his voice.

"I don't think you know who you're talking to, Puck. I am not going anywhere with you, unless it's to do with a Glee assignment, I don't like you." Mercedes replied, infuriated at Pucks demeanor.

"Whatever, be ready at 6:45. See you later Aretha" Puck replied as he walked off to wherever he goes.

"IT'S MERCEDES!" Mercedes yelled to his retreating back, feeling a bit more than annoyed.

Meanwhile, as Matt and Mike finally meet up, they both say the same thing to each other.

"We need to talk"

"Okay," Mike said "You first."

"I ran into Kurt this morning, he wants me to help him with some Glee assignment we're supposed to be getting today in return for Spanish tutoring. I'm thinking I may be able to get him to open up about you!" Matt practically squealed at the end.

"Oh, cool. I talked to Mercedes. I think she knows man" Mike said, suddenly feeling nauseous at the idea of Kurt and Matt spending time alone.

"She knows that I like her?" Matt asked, a bit worried.

"No fool, she knows that I like Kurt, she asked what I thought about him, and I ended up spewing a lot of verbal vomit" Mike replied.

"Well, at least you have another person to help you get Kurt." Matt joked lightly.

"You should be worried dude, Puck interrupted our conversation. I think he wants to date her, you might have competition." Mike said seriously.

"Shit" Matt ground out. This would be harder than he thought, he had to get to her before Puck did again.

"You should call her and plan a last minute movie night for Friday night" Matt said.

"For what reason?" Mike asked.

"Simple, it will keep Puck away from my girl. And, it will give you a reason to be in close proximity with Kurt in a room with no lighting except for the TV." Matt replied conspiratorially.

"Okay... that sounds cool. Just us four or should I invite more people?" Mike replied, getting excited at the prospect of being so close to Kurt.

"Nah, just us, don't want any distractions now do we?" Matt replied, feeling good with his new plan.

* * *

Well, we've made it through another chapter.

A thanks to my Beta Masked Pineapple for correcting me on more than just grammar. lol.

I plan on updating once a week, not sure how long this is gonna play out. I think I'm gonna have at least 10 chapters before cutting it off and starting the sequel once all of the relationships are established.

Also, to all of my readers that observe Yom Kippur, make it worthwhile.

Reviews are love and get you love in return! How am I supposed to send out lovely holiday cookies if I don't know who has actually read my story after all. =]

(Seriously though, I am an avid baker, and have been known to ship cookie packages to friends in other states. Haha.)

Bai!

- Acalboi


	3. I'm Back please read!

Hey guys! Sorry, this is not a chapter, and, it's been over a year… BUT, I'M BACK!

A lot has happened in the last year, my aunt died, I moved to Mississippi, started a new job, quit, moved back to Texas, started a new job at a Boy Scout Camp, started my junior year of university, family junk (my dad got divorced and remarried), and a load of other things.

And quite honestly, I lost my muse, I had no idea where I wanted to take the story anymore. However, I will be picking the story back up and, will post a new chapter by Halloween. I didn't get many reviews, but, I got a shit load of alerts. Thanks for the alerts btw, but, as any author will tell you, reviews are to us like applause is to Tinkerbell, without them, we wither and die. So, please, I'm**_ begging_** you, go back and read the first two chapters again if you must, and **review** with that you honestly think, and tell me where you think the story ought to go, I may use some of your ideas in future chapters.

So, yeah, sorry that this isn't a chapter, and that I've been MIA. But, now I'm back, from outer space, I just logged in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.

Also, after I finish this story, whenever that will be, I'm thinking of writing a Kum Hevans (Sam/Kurt) fic, would any of you be interested? I actually don't like Klaine that much. I prefer Hevans, or even Purt (Puck/Kurt). And, Kinn (Kurt/Finn) just creeps me out.

Love you guys!

acalboi

also, I have a tumblr acalboi(dot)tumblr(dot)com I plan on using that as a sounding board for future story ideas and plots.


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